I’m on my way (from misery to happiness today…)
Image by @kimberlyfarmer
Heyo, lovely people. Wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever the colour of your skin or the orientation of your sexuality or gender, I hope you are safe and well. To those who are in the face of COVID-19, struggling with isolation, or the Black Lives Matter movement, I hope you are okay. I just wanted to apologise for missing last week; my pressure headaches — caused by an imbalance with my cerebrospinal fluid (or CSF) — have kicked up a notch lately. When they spiral, whether my CSF pressure is high (too much buildup around my brain) or low (it’s leaking out through my spine), my head feels as if it’s going to explode. As I’m writing this, it’s swung back into gear. So if I miss a week here or there, I do apologise, but it’s probably that that’s the cause. I do very much intend for it not to come between me and my blogging, though pushing too hard is also dangerous. Anyway. This week. We’ve staggered into July, and I continue to believe that perhaps we ought to have had the world end in 2012 when people were crying it would. I mean, who would have thought in 2012 that we’d end up here? When the universe is basically scratching off a bingo card as to what happens next. I don’t think the universe is ready to shout “BINGO!” yet, but it’s got quite a few squares scratched out already.
We’re going to have bookstore sections dedicated to this year alone, folks. I think a popular title will be: 2020 — What the Fruit Loop Happened?!
My reading has slowed down, though I’m still going. I’m very much enjoying The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemisin, which instantly had me hooked with the writing style. Yet I’ve also been writing again. I can’t remember how it began precisely, what triggered the need to commence. On the upside, I’ve been dedicated to the one project; one of my greatest struggles is stopping and switching mid-way, usually due to panic over it not being good enough. That very fear is why I wrote myself passive-aggressive encouragement notes that I have in direct view when I work, telling me that having shit clay is better than no clay, so finish the damn thing. That advice has helped on quite a few occasions, wondering, “Am I doing this right? Is this okay? Oh, this is rubbish, I don’t like any of this.” You know, normal writer thoughts. Yet it’s helpful to remember that unless you’re some prodigy (which I’m unfortunately not), all first drafts are rubbish. They’re not meant to be good; they’re meant to get the story down. Edit it later, make it better then, just get it written down.
Currently, I’m 60,000 words in. This draft is almost over, with only one major event left to happen. I’m thinking it’ll cap at 65-70k words. The final product will be longer, but I’m proud that I’m still going strong. The story is one that I love, that I’ve referenced in previous posts, one that has weight in today’s society. Mostly, though, it’s become about mental health, an old “friend” of mine. Once it’s done, once I’ve further into editing it (which won’t be for a couple of weeks after the initial writing process), I’ll talk more about my specific thoughts on mental health. That time is kind of necessary; I’m incredibly passionate and vocal about the subject, and given its weight in so many head-spaces, in stigma, I want to get those words just right.
There’s not much else to say today. Everything has been quiet save my work and my reading. Though here in Canberra, we’ve got four new COVID-19 cases, so unless that’s an isolated case, I can only hope that the ACT government jumps on top of things as quickly and sternly as possible, lest we spiral out of control.
Oh yes, I also tried out Resident Evil VII: Biohazard in VR, which was one of the more regrettable yet enjoyable whilst terrifying experiences of my life. So that was cool. Now I’m set to start The Last of Us: Part II, which is a stunning game. Zombies? Keep ‘em coming! (From a distance, not too close— that’s too close, back up aaand I’m dead.
Anyway, that’s all from me today. A shorter post, though a good bridging point. Hopefully next week, I’ll have a brand new review for you lovely people! Better yet, in the future, I’ll hopefully not get more songs stuck in my head with titles alone (uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh—). But most of all, have a safe and healthy and beautiful day.
— Charis.
PS. If you are unsure what song I’m referencing, please go look up The Proclaimers. You’re welcome!
